Creating A New Vision for Your Life

What if the key to unlocking your full potential lies in letting go of the person you’ve always been? Join me in explore this transformative idea, sharing insights on why clinging to outdated habits and identities can hold you back from achieving your dreams. 

I discuss the importance of taking accountability for your life, shifting your mindset, and tweaking your daily routines to create new opportunities for personal growth. Learn how to focus on what you can control, adopt a proactive approach, and prepare yourself for meaningful change.

We delve into the power of radical self-love and self-discipline, featuring personal stories of overcoming adversity and reclaiming control. By committing to your goals and approaching life with consistency and a positive mindset, you can break free from negative cycles and become your best version. 

Get inspired to take radical responsibility for your life and embark on a journey of personal growth and fulfillment.

Chapters

• 0:01 Embracing Change for Personal Growth
• 3:28 Taking Control, Making Change
• 12:34 Building Self-Discipline for Self-Love

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Okay.

Speaker 1: 0:01

So if you know me for a little while, you probably heard me say before that the you who got you here won't get you there, meaning wherever there is for you, whatever you hope for in your life, whatever you want to experience in your life, whatever you want to have and you want your life to be who you have been, isn't going to get you that You're going to have to emerge into. Different versions of you operate differently. You have to do different to get different in your life and I see so many times that clients who come to me and they claim that they want change but they are so attached to who they have been, they're so attached to the identity that they've created and version that they've created of themselves that they don't actually want to change themselves, anything about themselves. They want their life to change, they want their circumstance to change, but they are like this is just me, this is just how I am and how I've always been. Well, how you've always been is going to keep getting you what you've always just had, and if you're content with that and you love that, that's great. Like I'm not saying we have to ever operate in a place of being dissatisfied or always thinking we need the next big thing. No, I love that. I love when people are in a place where they love their life and they love who they are, but the clients that I'm referring to aren't in that place. They're wanting to snap their fingers and have their circumstances change and their life change, because they just are, like when can I get a break already, when they don't realize, like you need to take a break from being who you've been and I don't say that in a judgmental way, or that in who you've been in the past isn't great, because I'm sure she has been great, I'm sure she's had her great moments, her not so great moments, like all of us.

Speaker 1: 2:06

What I am saying, though, is you have to move different, you have to take different roads and different routes to get to new destinations, and if you keep taking the same road and route, if you keep being the same, operating the same way, you're going to keep just getting the same way. You're going to keep just getting the same in your life, and it can be hard to take this level of accountability for our lives, because I don't think there's ever a time when I was going through something really tough or my circumstances weren't great. I wanted to be like, yeah, all this is because of me, I didn't want to take ownership for that. I wanted to say this outside of my control happened and this person did this and I, you know. I wanted to say like I just can't catch a break. And yeah, in the moment I didn't realize that while there are things that are outside of our control, and sometimes our circumstances aren't fully within our control, what happens next is within our control.

Speaker 1: 3:04

And I had to realize that I didn't have to change who I am at my core. I just had to change how I operated. I had to change how I moved throughout my day. I had to change and I don't just mean habits, I mean my mindset, my view of myself, my view of what I thought was possible for me, the energy that I was walking around with.

Speaker 1: 3:28

I needed to change, and so I'd love for you to take a look at your circumstances as your life and maybe list all of the things that you feel were outside of your control. Not your fault, you couldn't prevent. List them out, so we can just get them out of the way, because I'm sure they're valid things, I'm sure it's truthful and I'm sure, maybe you got dealt a shit deal and you're dealing with the aftermath of that right Like list all of those things out because I just want to push them to the side. And then I want start like thinking about everything that is within your control now, today, that you can do to bring about change, and it doesn't have to even be big things. It may be like you know what I struggle to even spend five minutes in my morning or in my day to journal and write affirmations or positive things about me to uplift me. I struggle just to acknowledge you know what. I did a good job today. I woke up, I got to work, I did my best. Right, like it can start so small, but if you can't take the five minutes to journal, then you aren't ready for your circumstances to change. You're not really ready, and so we've got to like stop focusing on all of the things outside of our control and shift more focus on saying what do I really have control over? And obsess over that, like literally obsess over it, because any time, effort and energy you give to people and things that are outside of your control which people are always outside of your control, no matter how much you think you can control them or how much you think your actions may change their actions. Let it go and hyper focus on what's within your control.

Speaker 1: 5:51

For me, when I was going through a really tough time, it was my eating habits and being more active, and I hyper-focused in on that. I dropped 60 pounds by hyper-focusing in on that because that was something that was within my control, when everything else in my life just felt like it was chaos and outside of my control. Guess what I could control my body. I could control what I put into my body. I could control my body's movement. And then I moved on to really nurturing a positive mindset and rewiring my mind to know wait, how amazing I actually am and reminding myself of what are the things I actually like and things I actually want. Because I was always in this place of thinking about everyone else, like, oh, let's order food, what do you want to eat? Or let's do something Saturday. What do you want to do? Let's do it Like I didn't have my own opinion anymore. And if someone asked me, I'm like I don't know whatever you want to do, like I didn't, I couldn't, I didn't know, right. And so when we focus on what's within our control. We are radically taking responsibility not just for our life, but also for loving ourselves. We are again snatching the pen and writing the script for our future, writing the script for who we are now you may have heard before.

Speaker 1: 7:21

To be her, you have to show up as her meaning, like the future that you want. You have to start waking up and acting like the person who is already living in that future place. And it makes sense in some ways, like, if you think about it, for me, I needed to lose weight. I had gained a lot of weight and I was heavy and I couldn't just manifest or wish and hope to be healthy and at a healthy weight. No, I had to show up as the person. What that person who's at that healthy weight would be doing yeah, maybe a little more so because I needed to lose, but I need to show up as someone that my healthy weight version of me would be eating healthy, she would be moving more, she would be talking kind to herself, she would be taking care of herself, she would be dressing up even if it just means like jeans and a t-shirt instead of lounge pants every day. Like I had to start showing up as her in order to become her, and that's the most practical way I can think to explain it.

Speaker 1: 8:38

But it goes beyond just things like eating healthy and losing weight. It really goes into like even the amount of money you want to be making, the relationship you want to be in or get over Like you have to start doing the actions of the person that you want to be now before you get to experience the benefits and the outcome of actually being that person. And when you hyper focus on something, like I did with my eating and movement, you are going to get there. It defies all laws for you to actually focus and be disciplined and stay consistent and not become her. There's no way to not become her. And if you're not becoming her, if your circumstances are not changing, if you feel like you're repeating cycles and your life is just chaos after chaos after chaos and you're getting beaten up, it's because you need to change how you are operating. It's because you need to change how you are operating.

Speaker 1: 9:45

You've got to jolt yourself out of the cycle, say I'm not participating in this anymore, I'm not playing this game anymore. I'm taking full control over my life. I am hyper-focusing on what's within my control and, damn it. I'm moving forward. I may not know the full, clear vision of where I'm going. I may not know if it's even possible for me, but I'm going to try. I'm going to commit to three months. I'm going to get the support I need to stay consistent so I don't give up and disappoint myself. This time You've got to be more infatuated with the future you hope for. With what, with what could be possible for you. You've got to be more focused and believe in that more than your current circumstances. It's the only way. It's the only way to stick to it. It's the only way for it to become possible for you is you have to be more committed and more infatuating and wanting that future for yourself more than what you want, what feels good right now.

Speaker 1: 10:57

Another quick story of when I was after my separation. I was lonely and there was a time where I was like maybe I'll start dating again or maybe I'll start talking to people, and I ended up shutting down those thoughts and I allowed myself to sit in my loneliness and be alone, because I realized that I had to want my future more than I wanted my to feel good in the now and I went really strict. I didn't drink, I didn't go out. I didn't do a lot of things in that season for a time because I was so obsessed with what could be possible for me. I was desiring so much to feel better and to never feel as awful as I was feeling ever again. And I realized that it's going to take a change in me. It's going to take a refocus in me. It's going to take me getting a clear vision for my future, a clear vision for how I want to feel, how I want my life to look, and hyper-focusing in on that and anything that's not supporting me getting there. I just don't have time for right now Any emotions that I were feeling that would keep me from making forward momentum there. I just didn't have time for them.

Speaker 1: 12:34

And this radical self-love being able to get this discipline with your life is a skill that you can build. And one of the biggest slaps in the face I've had over the years is people coming to me and asking me how I did it. And I tell them how I did it, how I moved forward after my divorce. I tell them how I've become the woman that I am and how I'm continuing to become, and they look at me and they say, well, it's just easier for you than it is for me. I couldn't do that, and that is the biggest cop out. That is someone saying that I'm more obsessed with feeling okay right now or staying with where I am right now and that's more comfortable for me than the discomfort that pushes me towards my future. That's somebody who doesn't yet have a vision or doesn't yet believe that better is actually possible, and so, instead of putting that excuse or reason on that list of things that we're supposed to push aside, they adopt it, as it's just not possible for me limit for these podcasts.

Speaker 1: 14:03

I'm trying to do 10 minutes or under, but I really hope that this encourages you and inspires you to get a clear vision for your future and who you are, and to start to build that skill of self-discipline, that inner strength to only choose what's going to move you forward and when you choose things that aren't aligned with it. I hope you snap back quick. I hope you say all right, girl, you weren't supposed to do that, we're not going to do that again. Okay, all right. What do I need to do to make sure I don't do that again? Right, like, you need to start acting like you're playing on your own team. Start acting like you're on your side, like you are someone that you actually really love and you want the best for them. Like talk to yourself in that way, and the only way to do this is to get real honest with yourself, take radical responsibility for what is within your control, know where you want to go and have the discipline and consistency to keep choosing it.