Building a Life That Reflects Your Desires

Ever had to make a choice that felt like ripping off a Band-Aid, but you knew it was necessary for your growth? Today, I share my personal journey of doing just that—making those tough decisions that push us toward becoming our best selves. We explore the significance of aligning our daily actions with our long-term goals, touching on love, career, and self-care. By facing the discomfort head-on and silencing our emotions when needed, we can build a foundation for lasting happiness and fulfillment. 

This episode also dives deep into the emotional rollercoaster of personal transformation. From maintaining a façade of confidence at work while grappling with vulnerability in private, to the vital act of keeping promises to ourselves, we look at the challenges and victories of growth. Over time, these tough choices fortify our inner strength and attract supportive people who respect our boundaries. By consistently showing up for ourselves, we create a life that truly reflects our desires and fosters well-being. Join me as I share the struggles and triumphs of this journey, and discover how you too can navigate the path to a more fulfilling life.

Chapters

• 0:00 Choosing Tough Love for Self-Improvement
• 7:18 Building Inner Strength Through Tough Choices

Transcript

Christina: 0:00

When I think about all of the hard things that I've overcome in my life, when I think about how I was able to figure out what to do next and to really find that clarity and that peace every single time. It required me to choose actions that would get me towards my best self and future, over my emotions, sometimes even over who and what I wanted. In the moment and I really think that is the hardest part is, a lot of times we know what to do next, or we at least know what we need to let go of, or we know that I need to focus a little more of attention on my self-care and prioritize me more. But we aren't willing to take that seemingly risk of what if I never find love again, or what if my business and my work suffers, the things that we've worked so hard for, that we've invested so much time and energy and love and care into. It is extremely hard to silence our emotions that are tied to those things when we know that it's time to step into a new beginning, and so I want to just leave you a little bit of encouragement today to embrace the hard of encouragement today, to embrace the hard to sit with yourself, no matter how lonely it feels, to carve out more time for you and set those boundaries, even if you feel like you're risking being misunderstood, being judged, people thinking you're selfish for choosing more of you than how you were able to show up for them. I want to encourage you just to do it anyways and don't allow yourself to be avoidant. Don't allow yourself to just keep the peace or just keep things the way that they are because you feel like you just want to break from change or you feel like you just want to just have a moment of fresh air where you don't feel like your world is falling apart. Let it go. Sometimes even good things have to fall apart and this is just part of the journey.

Christina: 2:53

And when I was not even divorced yet, I was in my separation and I had gotten my own apartment and I was still trying to balance my husband at the time, his mental illness and what he needed, and then also what I needed to feel safe and and all of the things that came with that current time in my life. Current time in my life, it was being able to silence my emotions, to take steps towards what was actually going to be best for me and going to make sure that I was okay. And it's so funny because people in my life at that time would come to me from the outside in and say, how do you do it? Like I still haven't gotten over my divorce? Or how do you do it Because I keep choosing guys in my life that aren't great for me? Or how do you do it? And as if it was easy, as if I had some magic pill or solution that makes it easy? And the truth is it's not easy for anyone.

Christina: 4:08

The truth is, I chose to build an inner strength through daily actions that took steps towards my best self and my best future. I didn't focus on a big master plan of what my future life was going to look like. I could hardly handle the day. I didn't focus on should I stay, should I go? I didn't focus on was my marriage actually going to end? Was this it or was it repairable? Like I wasn't focusing on those things. I was focusing on making strong daily choices that aligned with what I did know would be best for me. If it was setting a boundary and not picking up my phone when all I wanted to do was to talk to that person, I still made sure I didn't pick up my phone because I had already told them I needed space and I wouldn't talk to them until x time.

Christina: 5:03

And those were the, the hard choices that you have to make. And it's just like when you're starting to work out and you want to get fit. You have to push your limits. You have to push back what you feel, past what you feel is physically possible for you, for you to actually experience any change in your health and any change in your body. When you're eating, you have to say no sometimes to those unhealthy treats because it will feel good in the moment but it's not going to get you to where you need to be.

Christina: 5:36

It's no different when it comes to love. It's no different when it comes to a work, life and a business that's best for you. It's no different than your health. It all has that same common thread of it requires us to choose, to love ourselves so radically that we can make choices that go against everything that we want and feel in the moment, because it's mind over matter. We're telling ourselves no, I know that what got me here won't get me there. I have to choose different. I have to be different to experience different, because, whatever you aren't changing, you are choosing, and so we've got to have tough love with ourselves. We've got to take responsibility for our lives and our choices and our heart and not allow ourselves to make excuses or feel like the heart wants what it wants, or this is just right for me in this season, but you know it's not what it wants. Or this is just right for me in this season, but you know it's not. And so I am encouraging you today to have that real honest conversation with yourself so you can start making those real hard, tough choices that it takes to actually experience the best version of yourself and your best life. Yet I wish it was glamorous. I wish it was as glamorous as people show it on social media of like living my best life, new life, new me, all of that kind of stuff.

Christina: 7:18

And while you do reach a point where you get to feel that breath of fresh air, when you're really in it, when you're really doing the work, when you really need to choose the change that matters, it doesn't feel great and it's full of moments where you're showing face at work and then the second that you're alone, you're crying and you're falling apart. You force yourself to go out and spend some time with friends and then the second you are alone. You cry and you fall apart. That's part of the journey. But you continue to make the tough choices. You continue to show up for yourself daily, continue to keep the promises that you make to yourself of how you deserve to be treated and the life that you want and how you are going to show up for yourself. And that's all it takes.

Christina: 8:10

And over time, as you consistently do that, you grow inner strength, as if you're like growing a muscle.

Christina: 8:17

You grow that inner strength where it does get easier. It does get easier to choose what's best for you gets It easier to align your life with a future you want. even to know gets easier what you want to experience peace. It all more accessible, and soon you'll realize that you're no longer surrounded by people who, when you chose yourself, called you selfish or, when you chose yourself, made you feel bad about it or tried to continue to push your boundaries so you could be there for them. You realize that now you've built a life surrounded by people who encourage you to take time for yourself. They ask, how can I help make your day a little easier, so it's stressful it's that so ressful Are you stressful can right time with You yourself , right, will be surrounded by people who make your life easier, not harder, when you build that inner strength, but again, it's only built through those tough, intentional choices, day in and day out, to show up for you.